PUNJABI HIPSTER BONDAGE GOTH NATE DOGG HYBRID CREEPER DAY FOR NIGHT RIP
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Coachella 2011 Day Five.
And on the 3rd day of Coachella, those camping tried to resurrect Hunter S Thompson as their acid Jesus, but instead the forces of evil reminded us hard that our return to the kingdom of fear wasn’t far away. Security was stepped up big time, and I saw a poor soul get his 25 gigantic weed cannons and his mdma all confiscated by security, but luckily, he was allowed into the festival, and amidst his tears, he was told that he was lucky to get into the festival, let alone, not arrested. He seemed to be picked up by that, but I could tell that this was not how he wanted to start the final day of Coachella. I asked him later on if he was okay, and he said
“I was going to give out those cannons to my fellow Coachella brothers and sisters, and the fucking MAN decided to keep it for himself. I have 25 lost souls out there. I hope they started a revolution. I’ll forever wonder what happened to them.”
Coachella Sunday is always bittersweet. This year would be no different.
We walked into our space for Wiz Khalifa, and proceeded to get down, and I had my first celebrity spotting at Coachella (ever!) in Clint Eastwood. Yes, Clint Eastwood was watching Wiz Khalifa about 5 meters away from me. I spotted him later on stage during Nas and Damian Marley, which ran loads of bells in my head since I swore I once heard someone say that he was interested in doing a Bob Marley bio-pic. I also spotted Usher onstage, as well as Mike G from OFWGKTA.
While waiting for Death From Above 1979, my friends and I looked at this giant metal platform in front of us on the other side of the barrier. We didn’t see it during Chemical Brothers, nor did we spot it during Arcade Fire. I was convinced it was for Kanye, and I told everyone in our group that we need to come back to our hallowed spot, because yet again, I put all my cards in for Kanye bringing the magic, and I was not let down in the slightest.
As the sun started to set, Death From Above 1979 tore shit up hard, bringing a metal dance punk vibe that brought down the desert hard. It was my third time seeing them, and I told my cousin from India that this would be ‘the whitest show we saw this weekend” and he throughly agreed. As you can tell by my videos, it was pretty much awesome as all Hell. I really hope they tour, so I can see them again.
As sun set on the final day of Coachella, we ran to catch a few songs by Trentemoller, but we were more into Duck Sauce in the Sahara. It was a disco shitshow of epic proportions, and seeing Armand Van Helden play finally was a long time coming. There were tons of happy beautiful people singing along to every disco riff, and when Barbara Streisand dropped, it was perfected chaos.
We checked out a bit of Ratatat, who will be coming to town soon, and I will most definitely see them again. But we knew that getting into our spot for Kanye would be hard, so we decided to leave Ratatat early, get some food and water, and march to Kanye.
By 9:30, The Strokes were in full force, and they were pretty tight. The crowd was pretty packed too. We started the Brodeep express (without pushing or being rude) and it was easily a battle. Song after song, I kept my eyes open for lanes for us to get through, and it wasn’t until The Strokes had finished that we had enough room to get back to the greatest spot in all of Coachella. We ran into a friend who we had lost earlier in the day, and he was afraid that he was going to have to watch Kanye alone, but it is a festival moment for ANYONE when you run into someone in your own gang, randomly. The stars were aligned, and we sat down to rest up for Kanye. I was sitting, feeling good, and just thinking
“That platform has got to be for Kanye. That platform is gonna be for Ye.” Over and over, I thought this. I thought I was gonna go insane, but when the lights went down and the production started, I had no idea what was in store for us.
I’ll upload the video soon, but I tell you this: When Kanye reveal himself on that platform that I had predicted was his, and started rising into the air 5 feet away from my face, I was in a glorious state of euphoria. But man, oh man, was that Kanye show ever emotionally charged.
I thought it was gonna be kinda carefree and tons of fun. Don’t get it twisted; it was loads of fun, but it was easily one of the more depressing and emotionally upheaving sets I’ve ever seen. My friend had taken too much substances, and the whole emotionality of Kanye was giving him a bit of a panic attack. The thunderous bass and the mind melting Renaissance-styled mural was freaking him out, and I could see. I stepped over to him, and I asked him he was okay.
“No, man, this is fucking depressing and it’s just way too much for me.”
I instantly got worried. Was I gonna have to walk my friend out of Kanye? I had been hyping this set since he was announced. This was what it was all leading up to. I looked at my cousin, and he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. I knew he was gonna be okay. I looked back at my friend, and you could see the fear in his eyes.
“Do you need water?” I gave him a bottle, and he proceeded to kill it.
“You know you can sit down if you want to.” I said, hopefully, giving him a little bit of a breather.
“No, I don’t want to sit down.”
“Do you want to leave?” My worst fucking nightmare was about to come true. I was going to miss Kanye again. The last time I missed him I got super based and got kicked out of the venue twice. I wasn’t going to miss him again, especially this show.
“Maybe.” He said. Shivers ran down my spine.
I put my arm around him just as Monster started. Oh fuck, I thought, this song is gonna destroy him if I don’t calm him down. So I did the first thing that came to my mind.
“Make the BPM slower for him.”
I started taping his shoulder on every 4th beat, so he could focus on that instead of Kanye opening his heart out to 80K people. I stopped at one point, and I could feel my friend tense up. I knew what I was doing was working, so I continued to tap every 4th beat out on his shoulder, as my other arm was fist pumping, and as my mouth was mouthing the lyrics. I looked over and smiled at him, and told him that it was gonna be okay. he said to me, “How long is this going to last?”
I knew he was talking about the drugs he ate. I had to lie to him to make him feel assured.
“Well, from once you ingest it, it lasts about an hour. You took it about 40 minutes ago, so you should be good in 20.” Totally fucking lying through my teeth. He was gonna be feeling it for another 90 to 120 minutes. I continued to tap out the beat on his shoulder, praying that there was going to be a mellow or happy song in the first act.
Right after Monster was Flashing Lights. As the strings hit, my friend looked at me and said, “OH MY GODDDD.” I told him things were gonna be okay. I was lying. This was the first time I had to talk someone down EVER. I had no idea what was gonna happen. I just kept tapping his shoulder, and nodded my head to the beat.
But then something happened after Flashing Lights. Kanye played PYT by Michael Jackson and everyone erupted as he went right into The Good Life. I started smiling super hard, and I looked over at my friend, and he sighed with relief. I took my arm off of him and gave him some water. He stood there for a second, and then turned to me and said
“Thank you for that.”
Don’t get me wrong. If he was tripping hard, I would’ve helped him all the way to the EMTs, but I knew that Kanye’s emotionally heavy set was more of the catalyst than the drugs. Who the fuck am I fooling? It was the drugs.
As Sirius by Alan Parsons played to signify the beginning of Act Two, I knew my friend was gonna be alright. But by this time, something else had attracted his attention. About four feet away from us, Paris and Nicky Hilton showed up, and started dancing. People were paying more attention to them than to Kanye. Then Dave Chapelle and Erykah Badu showed up. Then Tinie Tempah. Then David Fucking Hasselhoff. Then Tara Ried. Then Lindsay Fucking Lohan. It was kinda surreal. There were so many of them there, and people were paying attention to them instead of Kanye. It was mental.
Kanye’s Greek tragedy was the perfect way to end the bittersweet Sunday at Coachella. As we were walking back to our bikes, my friend who had reacted badly, but managed to rally, said what was going to be the line of the weekend.
“Kanye West’s set made Arcade Fire’s look like a peaceful calm happy look back in my childhood.” We all howled uncontrollably, considering.
We rode our last ride back from Coachella to PGA West, and those who were leaving the next day, got their shit together, while I wasn’t even done yet. I was leaving on Wednesday, and I still had the best day of my life wait for me in Los Angeles.